


Clinton Barton: A Chronicle

by samalander



Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Nonsense, chronicle - Freeform, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-27
Updated: 2012-05-27
Packaged: 2017-11-06 02:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/413480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samalander/pseuds/samalander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A day in the life of Clint Barton on a day when he doesn’t have to save the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clinton Barton: A Chronicle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emmypenny (burritosong)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/burritosong/gifts).



> Thanks to Emmy for the prompt. <3  
> Original at my tumblr, [here](http://notasamalander.tumblr.com/post/23820556142/wishyouweremegan-answered-your-question-i-am-the).

**6:00 am**  
The alarm goes off as Clint steps out of the shower. He’s not sure why he even sets it anymore, it’s an old habit, he supposes, from days when sleeping in meant getting left behind in whatever city they visited. He’s already gotten in some light cardio in the gym, and has about an hour until anyone who isn’t Natasha will be up, so he head to the kitchen.

**6:15-7:00am**  
Breakfast, at a leisurely pace. Nat sips coffee and scowls at the morning sun. Clint makes bacon waffles and doesn’t share. When the others begin wandering in, a few glance at his plate covetously, but Clint doesn’t cook for people besides himself. The last three people he cooked for have died. It’s not that he’s superstitious, no more than any other spy, it’s just a bad idea.

**7:00-8:00am:**  
Video conference call with Nat, Coulson, and Fury. Discussion of ops in progress, passed notes with Nat, kicking her under the table. Outside the conference room, Tony convinces Thor to moon them.

**8:00-10:00am**  
Archery miscellanea. Clint is an expert in 15 different kind of weapons, but his bow is his baby. He has to clean and oil her, wax the string, and fix any errant fletchings on his arrows. Bruce has a new kind of tip for him, and that means getting used to the heft and weight of it, as well as drilling the finger combos that call it up to the shaft. 

**10:00-noon**  
Working with the other bows; Clint picked up the violin when he was with the circus, something to keep them all entertained at night on the trains. It gave him something to do with his hands, improves dexterity. He picked up the cello when he joined SHIELD, and he practices both of them when he has time and he knows Stark is busy. He doesn’t want Tony to know he’s musical.

**Noon-12:30pm**  
Lunch. He had half a chicken in the fridge that he had roasted, beer-butt style on the roof, but Steve ate it for breakfast and left a very apologetic note with some replacement ham – fresh from the case at the local Duane Reed. Clint makes a face. He decides, if he can’t have what he wants, he’ll have something comforting, and digs into the back of the fridge. Before he knows it, he’s sitting at the table with two grilled cheese sandwiches and a bowl of tomato soup, while Tony looks on enviously, eating a Luna bar.

**12:30-1pm**  
Argue with Tony Stark about why you do not steal food from an assassin, bandage Stark’s fork wound.

**1:00-3:30pm**   
Current Events. Clint reads a few major newspapers in a few languages, but he also receives transmission from his associates in the field, and he has to take the time to decrypt them before he can read them. This time is also spent occasionally googling himself, to gauge his populatity as a hero. He’s 5th of 6, behind Cap, Tony, Natasha, and Thor. People don’t seem too warm towards the giant green rage monster. People are pretty dumb.

**3:30-6pm**  
Training. This can include anything, on any given day, from language drills to acrobatics and sparring, but today he’s working on a special project for himself, because the world has been almost silent recently and he doesn’t have anything special to work on. He’s brewing beer. He’s aiming for a red ale, for Natasha’s birthday. Beer to match her hair. He thinks he’ll name it Ale-ing Widow.

**6:00-7:00pm**  
Dinner. Sometimes they eat as a family, or a team or whatever, but today Tony has an event and Bruce is in the lab and Steve is giving some kind of “Don’t Do Drugs” talk to an after school program in Virginia and won’t be back until late. Clint calls the Korean place for Nakji bibimbap, because he’s feeling indulgent. Natasha makes a face, and eats a sleeve of graham crackers.

**7:00-8:00pm**  
America’s Next Top Model.

**8:00-10:00pm**  
Natasha wants to watch a movie, they settle in to make fun of James Bond, International Man of Doing It Wrong. They count the number of times he would have died in a real ops situation.

**10:00-10:15pm**  
Foreplay. Natasha needs to decompress, and not in the way that involves sparring, and Clint is never one to turn down eating a beautiful woman out. He kinda loves it, and would keep it a secret but why bother?

**10:15-10:37pm**  
Intercourse. He and Nat aren’t a thing – It’s fun and they both get off, but that’s all.

**10:37-10:38pm**   
Half-hearted pillow talk.

**10:39pm**  
Sleep in Natasha’s bed, his fingers curled around the dagger she keeps under his pillow. He dreams of the day that’s coming, when she’ll get tired of him and either leave or try to kill him, and it’s a nice dream in the end, because this time he doesn’t fight back and it ends swiftly.

**11:00pm-2:00am**  
Wander back to his room to try and dream about something more comforting. End up staring at the ceiling.

**2:00-5:00am**  
Sleep. Dreams that he won’t remember include but are not limited to a vision of Coulson as Botticelli’s Venus reciting the pledge of allegiance in a gibberish language, Moby Dick trying to convince him to try weed, and Tony Stark dancing the Macarena.

**5:00-6:00am**  
Light Cadio.


End file.
